For the second time within a week, I've woken up before 6 AM. Today had nothing to do with anyone else, though; I just woke up. Like, the kind where you wake up out of a dead sleep and you're suddenly wide-awake, terrified that you'll never be able to fall back asleep. And, sure enough, you're right. That's how I woke up this morning. I'm not sure if anything specific startled me awake. It may have been my excitement for this weekend, since I'm spending the weekend with two of my closest friends. Perhaps it was my mind anxiously awaiting the results of the baseball game last night. I am not typically a baseball fan, but my husband has been insistent on watching all games of the World Series, since the Texas Rangers finally have a shot again this year. Last night, they played into a tenth inning and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer - but still had the urge to know who won. (Note: Texas lost, 10-9.) I'm starting to wonder, however, if my inability to sleep well last night had to do with a conversation I was having with my cousin.
My cousin is eighteen years old and finally realizing that being related to someone doesn't always make them family. I told her last night, "Family is about being there no matter what and loving through everything." I even brought to her attention that she and I are not even blood... but we're still family. And knowing that my aunt, who I rarely talk to anymore, is coming into town has truly made me think about family lately. On one hand, she and I used to be super close and I could go to her for anything. On the other hand, she blows me off these days; I'm not even sure if she knows that I'm married and pregnant. And that's just so utterly pathetic to me. I've thought about getting in touch with her while she's in town to see her... mostly because I want the shock value of her thinking, "OMG ... how did I miss this?!? What else have I missed out on?" But I'm trying to remind myself that I just need to let go. She will realize in her own time what she's missing. It does make me sad though, because I miss her kids.
Well, I'm going back to my cinnamon graham crackers. Let's see if I can get this day started right! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment